Refusing to Love, It’s Unbearable

Refusing to Love, It's Unbearable

Refusing to love? This quote from the author of A Wrinkle in Time stopped me.

“The refusal to love is the only unbearable thing.”

Madeleine L’Engle

Like a tiny gift that gets lost behind the larger packages and is only found when the brittle Christmas tree is hauled away, I knew I had discovered something special.

So, let’s unwrap it.

Refusal: Refusal implies a choice. An act of will. A decision to reject something or someone.

“. . . few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42 NIV

To Love: Why would anyone refuse to love? Satan. Sin. Scars.

Satan: Satan refuses to love because God is love. Love is God’s very essence. Satan has chosen self. His refusal to love not only manifests in hate, but also in indifference. And every manifestation causes pain.

“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.” John 8:44

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy . . .” John 10:10

Sin: Our brokenness affects our want-to, our able-to, and our will-do.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.” Romans 7:21

Scars: Personal wounds can lead us to refuse to love because we fear getting hurt again or because we’d rather get revenge. Both handicap us in the long run.

“If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:3

Unbearable: To refuse to love can

  • Isolate us
  • Injure others
  • Ignore needs

We are made in God’s image (Gen. 1:27) and are designed to love as He does.

To refuse to love is a breach of our love for God.

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.” 1 John 2:9-11

So, are you?


To love.

It’s a choice, you know.

And to choose otherwise will prove simply unbearable.

“Jesus looked directly at them and asked, ‘Then what is the meaning of that which is written: “The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone?” Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed.’ ” Luke 20:17-18

Workout of the Week: Refusing to Love, It’s Unbearable

Memory Verse: but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42

Meditation Passage: 1 John 2:9-11

Just Do It: Love one another.

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