How to Love Well: 7 Tips from Ruth and Boaz

February brings a scent of romance to the air, and it doesn’t get better, biblically, than the account of Ruth and Boaz. Scripture tucks the Book of Ruth between Judges and 1 Samuel, two hefty historical books. In actuality, Ruth deserves the spotlight. Top billing. Because it shows us how to love well even when life has gone off the rails. 

The Book of Ruth takes place during the time of judges when “. . . everyone did as they saw fit” (Judges 21:25). Sound familiar? Today’s mantra might read, “You have your truth and I have mine.” Israel’s culture had largely rejected God and embraced the values—or lack—of their pagan neighbors. 

But a remnant remained of those faithful to Yahweh, and we see their commitment on display in the Book of Ruth. 

First, let’s identify our couple. Boaz lived in Bethlehem, a small town not far from Jerusalem. He was a well-established, mature man with property and was held in high regard as a man of faith by his community. Ruth was an outsider. A Moabite and a stranger who journeyed to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law Naomi after both women had lost their husbands. Her neighboring country of Moab was not friendly toward Israel. Though Ruth could have returned to her own family and eventually remarried, she chose to come to Israel with Naomi. In doing so, she adopted the land of Israel, Israel’s God, and Naomi herself. 

Ruth’s prospects? Zip. 

She and Naomi were widows, a death sentence for both of them unless Ruth remarried. And what self-respecting Israelite man would marry a Moabite? None.

I’ll let you read this short romance for yourself, but I want to highlight how Ruth and Boaz loved well and what we can learn from them. 

1. They loved God first. Genuine love for others flows from God’s love for us and our love for Him. Being rooted and grounded in God’s love is foundational. Some people tend to be warm and friendly by nature. My husband is one of them. But to show God’s agape love, to love unconditionally, requires us to embrace God’s love first. 

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God . . . We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:7, 19 NIV

If you aren’t secure in God’s love, soak in verses that speak of His love for you. Meditate on the price Jesus paid to make you His. Thank Holy Spirit for the privilege of interacting with the God of the universe every day. Love God first.

2. They honored God and honored others. Honor means to treat something as having worth or value. Every person, regardless of behavior, merits honor because they bear the Imago Dei, God’s image. We see honor in Ruth’s commitment to Naomi, in Boaz’s kindness toward Ruth, and in the Bethlehem community’s celebration of their marriage. 

Yep, you’ll need the Holy Spirit here as well as the will to obey—regardless of how you’ve been treated. But good things happen when you honor others. 

“Those who honor Me, I will honor, but those who despise Me will be disdained.” 1 Samuel 2:30

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

Honor.

3. They served. It’s not about us. Jesus came to serve, not to be served. Boaz and Ruth offer great Old Testament examples of godly service. Ruth provided for her mother-in-law. Boaz showed favor to Ruth, a stranger. 

“And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, ‘Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.” Ruth 2:2

“So Boaz said to Ruth, ‘My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with the women who work for me. Watch the field where the men are harvesting and follow along after the women. I have told the men not to lay a hand on you. And whenever you are thirsty, go and drink from the water jars the men have filled.’” Ruth 2:8-9

Don’t miss the fact that Boaz not only allows Ruth to glean in his fields, but he also offers her protection, no small matter. Serve. 

4. They loved sacrificially. Loving will cost. Time. Money. Effort. But that didn’t deter God in His love for us, and it didn’t deter Ruth or Boaz. 

“So Ruth gleaned in the field until evening. Then she threshed the barley she had gathered, and it amounted to about an ephah.” Ruth 2:17 

An ephah weighed about 30 lbs. and she had to carry it all the way back to Naomi. 

“Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, ‘Today you are witnesses that I have bought from Naomi all the property of Elimelek, Kilion and Mahlon. I have also acquired Ruth the Moabite, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from his hometown. Today you are witnesses!’” Ruth 4:9-10 

Boaz’s commitment to Ruth and Naomi cost him financially. As kinsman-redeemer, he paid for Naomi’s property, yet it would never be considered his. It would go to the first child Ruth bore to maintain the family line and property of the dead husband. 

Love sacrificially.

5. They loved under less-than ideal conditions. Ruth was dealing with a bitter mother-in-law who had lost her husband and both sons in a foreign land. Her background as a Moabite was sure to fuel the town gossip. Boaz’s decision to love well not only cost him financially, it could’ve cost him status, too. Moabites were not welcome to worship God up to the tenth generation. Would this hold true in Bethlehem? No spoilers. You’ll have to read it for yourself. 

“‘Don’t call me Naomi,’ she told them. ‘Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.’” Ruth 1:20

“The overseer replied, ‘She is the Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi.’” Ruth 2:6

Chances are our circumstances will never be ideal either, so let’s just do it. Love when it’s hard. 

6. They loved for the long haul.  Loving well isn’t a one and done experience. It’s a lifestyle, a marathon of people and circumstances. 

“But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.’” Ruth 1:16

“Although it is true that I am a guardian-redeemer of our family, there is another who is more closely related than I . . . if he wants to do his duty as your guardian-redeemer, good; let him redeem you. But if he is not willing, as surely as the Lord lives, I will do it.” Ruth 3:12-13

Both Ruth and Boaz embraced long-term commitments with no guarantees. They were simply willing to take the next step. Love for the long haul.

7. They loved one day at a time.  One day at a time, one encounter at a time, one moment at a time. Love the one in front of you right now. Take baby steps. Ruth didn’t know that loving Naomi by gleaning to get food for them would lead to finding a kinsman-redeemer. Boaz didn’t know that simple kindness to a stranger would lead to marriage and family, but it did. 

But that’s not all. Loving well led Ruth and Boaz to their part in the lineage of King David and ultimately Jesus.

“. . . Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David.” Matthew 1:5-6

Where will your love lead you?

Questions:

How does love manifest itself in your family? Of these seven areas, which are strengths for you? Which are challenges?

God first

Honor

Service

Sacrifice

Circumstances

Long haul

One day at a time

Resources:

Click here for a study guide for the Book of Ruth.

Click here for one-page study sheets for preschoolers and elementary-aged students.

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