Relationships: Easy As Pie, Not!

I’m the pie lady for Thanksgiving dinner. Apple for my sweet daughter-in-law. Sweet potato for my husband. Cherry and pumpkin pies for my kids—with loads of whipped cream, of course. 

I love pie, and because I am my grandmother’s granddaughter, I make them from scratch. 

Yes, crust too. None of that ready-made stuff. Trust me. The texture is off. 

Pies are labor intensive. No one-bowl cake or cookie here. 

Time. Effort. Work.

But the results? 

Well, Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without pie. 

Relationships are labor intensive too. Time. Effort. Just plain work. Humble pie is not a flavor we love. Grace. Mercy. Yes, please, with a dollop of forgiveness. 

But humility? Well, it’s about as appetizing as mincemeat sounds. And if you’re a fan of mincemeat, apologies, I’ve never had it. 

Recipe Prep for Relationships

The best recipes use the best ingredients. Anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness sound tasty, but they leave us with a bellyache. Heartaches and headaches too. 

Humility is key to healthy relationships. Humble pie begins with a fear of the Lord. Not a scary fear, but a reverence and awe for who God is. Humility brings a serious depth of flavor, like adding dark chocolate to pecan pie. 

With humility come respect and honor. Not only for God, but for those who bear His image. Romans 12:10 says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”  Respect and honor require intentionality. You can’t Amazon these ingredients.

Now, let’s bake. 

Relationships: Easy as . . . Pie? 

Yeah, making pie’s not so easy, but following God’s relationship recipe really helps. Practice the “one another” verses. Here are a few:

• Fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7)
• Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
• Be at peace with one another (Mark 9:50)
• Be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
• Forgive one another (Colossians 3:13)
• Bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2-3)
• Comfort one another (2 Corinthians 13:11)
• Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
• Pray for one another (James 5:16)
• Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Tough to pull off when we’re nursing wounds. I’ve botched this recipe too many times to count, but as my own healing occurs, the “one anothers” get easier. 

Relationship Fails

Pie is messy. Flour gets everywhere. Bits of broken crust and drips of filling cover my countertop. 

Relationships are messy too. Like pie crust, trust is easily broken. 

But broken pie crust is still good eating. 

Many times, I’ve taken leftover dough, jagged remnants from pretty edges, dumped them on a cookie sheet, then added cinnamon and sugar. Ten minutes later, people burn fingers and tongues just to sample the broken pieces. 

Romans 8:28 reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

That promise is for all of us offenders. 

Are all broken relationships salvageable? Sadly, no. 

But God can add sweetness to our brokenness. 

We are all sinners. No matter if the list of a person’s offenses against us is as high as an apple pie with five pounds of apples, our pile of offenses against God is infinitely higher. We forgive because He forgave us. 

Relationships: Serving and Presentation

A messy relationship may not look like that perfect triangular slice of pie, but pie spooned into a bowl with a scoop of ice cream still satisfies. Don’t give up. 

As the holidays approach, if there is discord in your family, pray:

• Pray for God to do a work in the hearts of every family member.  Philippians 1:6 reads, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
• Pray for wisdom to know when tough love is needed, because sometimes it is. Unconditional love can love others without tolerating, condoning, or accepting sin. Set appropriate boundaries where needed. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
• Pray for healing, reconciliation, and for changed hearts. Isaiah 61:1-3 reads, “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”
• And pray for the enemy’s strongholds to come down. 2 Cor. 10:4-5 reads, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Some of you are hurting. 

Me too. 

It’s a broken-pie-crust kind of Thanksgiving. Though I savor the flavors of humility, of grace, of mercy, of forgiveness, and love, they come with a salty edge this year. 

Yet I choose to give thanks. For our families and the challenges that come with them. Will you join me? Don’t get lost in the despair and heartache of conflict, because it will eat you for dinner. Instead, hold tight to the blessings. 

God is good. 

He loves every one of us. 

He’s working even when we can’t see it. 

Trust Him. 

And enjoy some pie.

Bonus Material:

First, for my grandmother’s pie crust recipe, click here.

Second, to stay in the know about the Kingsley Kid Detective series, sign up for the Detective Dispatch here.

Lastly, in January, I will launch The Christian Grandparenting Podcast. Every week, I’ll offer practical hands-on activities to help grandparents enthusiastically share their faith with their grandkids. Seminary-trained, so you don’t have to be, I’ll bring fresh ideas on how to teach Scripture and principles from God’s Word. I’ll share prayers for intercession, as well as ways to build character and connection with your grandchildren. 

I hope to give you a voice, because to stay silent, places future generations at risk.