How to Become an Intentional, Invested, and Inviting Grandparent
As grandparents, how do we Go BIG? This week in our Go BIG! series, we explore the letter I.
I for Intentional. I for Invested. And I for Inviting.
Every Sunday afternoon, my family visited both sets of grandparents. Every. Single. Sunday.
My maternal grandmother and I were close.
But Sunday afternoon visits were not what spurred our closeness. They served as together time in
quantity, but not quality, and they didn’t foster relationship.
However, the summer after high school graduation, I worked as a tennis instructor for the
Wichita Falls Parks and Recreation. I traveled to four locations each day and taught tennis
lessons to whoever showed up, whether there were two kids or twenty-two. My grandparents’
house conveniently sat between location #2 and location #3, so I had lunch with them.
Every day.
All summer.
I loved it. Here’s why. Relationship.
Relationship happened at my grandmother’s kitchen table over lunch, games of Wahoo!, and whatever
dessert she had baked that week.
Here’s how we can make it happen.
1. Intentionality: Our first I stands for Intentionality. The right kind of intentionality, the kind that changes
you and leaves you wanting more, takes some planning.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
The “them” in that verse refers to God’s commandments. The “when” refers to life. Community.
And life in community is where relationship happens.
To be intentional in how you spend your together time takes planning and preparation.
Take Christmas for example. Several weeks before Christmas, we host the grandkids at our house for the
weekend. Parents have several childfree days to shop or wrap gifts while we bake, craft, and talk about
the Christmas story.
The granddaughters love to watch the The Nutcracker ballet. The boys love the train display at our church.
My prep includes baking and crafts for each of the appropriate ages. I gather ingredients,
supplies, and take-home containers. Pro Tip: Don’t forget this one.
Meals, playtime, and our biblical focus for that weekend all take planning. I have a
nativity set that the kids can play with, and I keep my breakables out of reach.
Is it work? Yes.
Is it fun? Oh, yeah.
Pro Tip: We go screen-less unless we watch a movie together. Books and
games we have by the truckloads. The screens I lock away.
2. Investment: The second I stands for Investment. To impact your grandkids for the Kingdom requires
an investment.
Of time.
Of prayer.
Of energy and effort.
Matthew 6:20-21 reads, “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and
vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also.”
In September, we take the grandkids to the beach. Ya’ll, Texas is big. The drive to Austin and then on to
Galveston takes hours. We broke up the drive going down, but coming back, I think we spent 8 hours in
Pro Tip: Pace yourself. One thing my grandmother did a great job of with my children, that’s
right, her great-grands, was to rest when she needed to. Our kids respected her breaks.
Build in some down time and bring in an extra pair of hands if you can. My daughter
often comes to help, but she’ll have a family of her own one day. When she does, I plan to recruit
the older grandkids to help with the younger ones. I’ll have special activities for my helpers after
the littles go to bed.
Investment. What are you prepared to invest?
3. Inviting: The third I is Inviting. Nothing boring allowed!
Luke 15:3 reads, “Then Jesus told them this parable . . .”
Jesus didn’t preach three-point sermons. He told stories. He used objects and events his audience
was familiar with—sheep, logs, weddings.
Because objects are tangible and familiar, object lessons can pack a punch.
Author and speaker Tim Shoemaker once remarked how well kids receive object lessons because
they’re used to watching videos. They enjoy having the lesson play out right in front of them, especially if
they have a part in it. Take advantage of this.
So there’s I. Intentional, investment, and inviting.
Intentionality: What’s next on the calendar? Birthdays? Holidays? Summer? What can you plan
that fits the occasion and what will it take to pull it off?
Investment: What kind of investment are you willing to make?
Time? Money? Energy level? Pace yourself and pace them. Exhaustion leads to meltdowns, yours and
theirs. Don’t overdo it.
Inviting: Do your activities invite participation and engagement? Is there an object lesson that fits
naturally with the activities you’re already planning?
Intentionality, investment, and inviting. Go BIG!
Let’s pray.
Father God, prompt our intentionality.
Guide our planning.
Help us to pace ourselves, but to still make a worthy investment.
Lead us in planning activities that are inviting, that are engaging, that will draw our grandchildren in.
May the adventure of preparation excite us as much as the finished product will excite the kids. Lead and
guide our efforts and give us favor. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
I’d love to hear from you. Let me know if you found one I easier than another.
Which of the three do you gravitate toward?
If you have an additional I we need to hear about, please share in the comments below.
Go BIG! Own your I!
I mentioned my friend, author Tim Shoemaker. He’s written several devotional books filled with object lessons.
Tim’s books:
Mashed Potatoes, Paint Balls: and Other Indoor/Outdoor Devotionals You Can Do With Your Kids
Next week: Faith-Building Valentine’s Ideas for Your Grandchildren
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