How to Write Your Own Obituary and Why You Should

When my grandmother died, her eulogy/obituary were . . . well, less than. Her life was reduced to a few sentences about her cooking, her hospitality, and her crafting abilities. Seriously? 

There was so much more. 

Where was the space for the Wahoo! games at Grandmother’s kitchen table, the steaks she and Papa cooked for my husband-to-be, or the two weeks I lived with them after the birth of our first child before a move out-of-state? 

The words, deeds, and kindnesses that impact most are rarely recorded—except on the heart of the one who received them. Over a lifetime, they form a legacy. 

My grandmother’s legacy? An open seat at her table. That and no complaining. A WW2 bride, she would give me a look if I complained about anything. And when her health grew worse, she never spoke of it unless I asked. 

My grandfather’s legacy? Laughter. Generosity. He never met a stranger and would have given the shirt off his back if someone needed it. My husband and I began dating at age fifteen. My grandparents were his biggest fans. 

My husband’s legacy? Easy. Kindness. Both our moms have dementia. Russell’s mom hasn’t recognized him since 2020. Still, he faithfully visits her. He loves well.

My legacy? Well, I know what I want it to be: 

• I want our kids and their spouses to know that they are fiercely loved and that I’m here for support as they juggle careers and family. 
• I want our grandkids to know that I am crazy about them and that the most important person in their lives is Jesus. 
• I want my parents to know that they are not a burden and that caring for them at this stage of life is a privilege. 
• I want the kids I write for to know and experience God now. For that to be normal, not something learned in adulthood like it was for me. 
• I want to help parents, and grandparents especially, disciple the next generation.

Paul speaks of legacy in 2 Timothy 1:5 which reads, “I am reminded of your [Timothy’s] sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

Yeah, I’ll take that one. 

When our youngest son married, he and his bride asked us to make of list of the spiritual blessings we were passing forward. Wow! What a thought! I knew that spiritual curses are often passed down, but blessings? That’s a discussion worth having.

So, what are you passing forward? 

What will be your legacy? 

Pause right now and make a list. What’s important to you—and why?

1.

2.

3.

We’ll come back to this. 

For me, legacy is tied to connection. 

Cards. Visits. (No, we don’t live near our grandkids.) Calls. Consistency. 

One caveat. Connection with those who are open to connecting. Not everyone is. 

If there’s friction in the family, take it to the Lord. Again. Pray for reconciliation, softened hearts, and forgiveness. If you have made mistakes, and we all have, go to that child and confess it. Apologize. Ask for forgiveness. Life is too short for the family to stay divided. 

Legacy starts now. 

How will you live out what you want your obituary to say?

How will you be remembered?

Here’s a template for you: My Obituary.

P. S. 1) Do your children or grandchildren love mysteries? Our faith-building detective series for kids aged 7-11 launches spring 2026. Kid-sized mysteries. God-sized truth. Get the scoop now. Sign up for our Detective Dispatches.

2) In January, I will launch The Christian Grandparenting Podcast. If you want to share your faith with your grandchildren, but aren’t sure how to do it, this is the podcast for you. More to come.